Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Preparing to Live or Preparing to Die
This has been a rough week. I can't stop thinking about the possibility of having Stage 4 cancer and what that means. Well, or at least what I think that it means. Even if it is stage 4 there is no guarantee that I will die soon, it is even possible that I can be "cured" (with cancer you are considered "cured" if you are "cancer free" for 5 years). But, if I am stage 4, the odds are against me. So, what is a girl supposed to do? Should I start making a bucket list and doing those things? Should I spend all of my money traveling and doing things that I want to do? Or should I plan for a future? The reality is that for now I am in a sort of limbo and have to just wait and see. I will wake up in the morning and go to bed at night. I will take each day as it comes and just try to make it through one day at a time. As cliche as that sounds, it is the only way that I can get through this right now. Perhaps I will get some guidance from the doctors at some point or my body will tell me what is going on. So for tonight I accept that there is nothing that I can do about this and I'll pick up the battle tomorrow.
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3 comments:
It does change your perspective when you have disease staring you in the face. But the truth is none of us knows the number of our days. So we should live EVERY day to the fullest. Not just survive...but truly LIVE life with a capital L!
I want to say "just wait and see what the docs say about the results". In reality I know you are more like me and like to have plans set up. Personally I would probably have lists for both scenarios. And maybe even one that combines the two.
Thinking of you always Lisa <3
I think what Amy said is a good idea, make two lists for each scenario. I don't know, it's got to be so incredibly tough either way.
Love to you!
cowtown
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